The medieval wedding ceremony itself was very simple. Of course, if you’re getting married outside on the church steps, you don’t want long personalized vows, a string of bridesmaids, and a tenor solo of “Endless Love.” Especially when umbrellas and waterproof fabric haven’t been invented yet.
First, the priest had to ask his legal questions. Were they both of age? (Legal marriage age varied with place and time.) Were they legally free to marry–that is, was either already married, or were they within the forbidden degree of relationship? Were they both freely consenting to this union? When the priest was satisfied with the answers, the key moment in the ceremony was when he joined their hands.
The wedding vow of late medieval England ran like this: “I take thee, Joan/Thomas, to my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us depart, if Holy Church will ordain, and thereto I plight thee my troth.”
The priest blessed the ring; only the bride got a gold ring. Then the groom slipped the ring loosely onto her thumb, saying, “In the name of the Father,” and then he moved it to her index finger, “and the Son,” then the ring moved to her second finger, “and the Holy Ghost,” and finally he moved it to her third finger to say, “with this ring I thee wed.” If you ever wondered why that’s the ring finger…well now you know.
The couple’s first act as man and wife was not to have sex; this was the Middle Ages and they had priorities. First, they gave alms to the poor. Well, it makes sense. The poor hung around church doors and in markets. They looked for happy events when people were feeling blessed and would have more pity on a cripple. So gradually, a man getting married learned to make sure not only that he was clean and dressed neatly, and hadn’t lost the gold ring, but also that he had his pockets full of small change. Walking down from the church steps, heading toward the feast, he stopped to give to lepers, almsmen, cripples and other beggars. It was a time for generosity to all and gratitude to Heaven.