We focus a lot on the most sensational aspects of Muhammad’s marriages: A’isha’s age and the sheer number (8 or 9) of the widows he left at his death. He spent most of his life as an ordinary man with one wife, and even after her death, with A’isha betrothed, he was actually married to the widow Saudah. But during the years of the move to Medina and these battles, he married four more women, two named Zaynab (which was also the name of his oldest daughter, so it gets confusing).
We know that A’isha came to live in his household a short time after the move to Medina. Each time he added a wife, a new room was built onto the house whose courtyard was the mosque. The first addition to Saudah and A’isha was the daughter of his close friend, Umar. Hafsah’s husband was killed in the Battle of Badr, leaving her widowed at 18. Her father offered her hand to his friend Uthman, whose wife Ruqayyah (the Prophet’s daughter) had just died. But Uthman declined and Umar felt snubbed. Muhammad offered a different solution: the next daughter for Uthman, and Hafsah for himself. Hafsah became A’isha’s best friend (and recall that some believe A’isha was about the same age, not actually a child).
The Battle of Uhud left even more widows–and orphans–who needed provision. At this time, Muhammad recited the Quranic verses suggesting marriage up to four wives. Widows and unmarried daughters, now orphans, were sent back to their fathers or brothers, where they were extras in the household. The Muslims were now encouraged to marry as many of them as they could afford. The Prophet set an example by marrying his cousin’s widow, Zaynab. His cousin had been killed in a single combat at Badr. And it was this marriage to Zaynab that opened the opportunity to send missionaries to her tribe (although that turned out badly due to massacres).
This brought the Prophet up to the limit of four wives, but two things changed (I’m not sure which one happened first). Zaynab #1 died less than a year after she married into the family, so that the Prophet now had only three wives. And a further revelation freed Muhammad, individually and specifically, from the rule of four. Because of his unique burdens, he was freed to marry as many as he wanted to.
His next marriage was to another cousin’s widow. We know her as Umm Salamah, which implies she had at least one child already. She was the first widow to raise objections to marrying into Muhammad’s family. Her monogamous marriage had been very close and warm, so she did not think she could handle being a plural wife. But Muhammad persuaded her to trust to Allah to remove the sin of jealousy, and she then agreed. We don’t know how she handled jealousy, but we do know that A’isha got upset. Many of the hadiths come through A’isha, so we have more stories about her than about the others. A’isha felt that this was the first wife to come along who might get Muhammad spending more evenings with her.
There was another new wife during this period, and she was the most controversial. You’ll remember that Muhammad had adopted his teenage slave, Zayd, who was only ten years younger than him. Zayd had married a much older woman at first—this seems to have been a typical “starter marriage” solution for young men without money. He had a son with this first wife, who was by now a teenager. Zayd may have married several more women; in this last case, perhaps just before the Battle of Badr he had married Muhammad’s cousin Zaynab bint Jahsh. We have on record that she did not want to accept this marriage. Part of her objection may have been that Zayd was merely the adopted son, a former slave, and not of the Quraysh. Muhammad may have used the marriage as an object lesson in going against social class customs, since he viewed Zayd as having high standing in Islam. But Zayd and Zaynab were never happy together. The marriage didn’t last more than two years and produced no children.
I’ll cut to the headline: after a divorce, Zaynab married Muhammad himself. And this was a problem, because for 20 years, Zayd had been known as Zayd ibn Muhammad. Marrying across an age gap meant nothing to the Arab culture, since a young woman was honored by being placed in an important older man’s house. But marrying your son’s ex-wife was not cool.
There’s a hadith that seems to report a rumor such that Muhammad came to see Zayd but found Zaynab in a revealing underdress; in his confused attraction, he left without waiting, so that Zayd remarked on it, asking if he wanted her. It doesn’t seem likely; this is an example of a hadith that can’t be trusted. But it does give us a sense of the types of rumors and scandal that rose when he married her. Whoever reported that hadith to al-Bukhari may have been correctly reporting the gossip passed down through five generations.
The Quran directly speaks to Muhammad about this situation. Surah al-Ahzab, number 33, is addressed to Muhammad and tells him (translation is by Dr. Mustafa Khattab, “The Clear Quran”):
Allah does not place two hearts in any person’s chest. Nor does He regard your wives as ˹unlawful for you like˺ your real mothers, ˹even˺ if you say they are.1 Nor does He regard your adopted children as your real children.2 These are only your baseless assertions. But Allah declares the truth, and He ˹alone˺ guides to the ˹Right˺ Way.
Let your adopted children keep their family names. That is more just in the sight of Allah. But if you do not know their fathers, then they are ˹simply˺ your fellow believers and close associates. There is no blame on you for what you do by mistake, but ˹only˺ for what you do intentionally. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
The Prophet has a stronger affinity to the believers than they do themselves. And his wives are their mothers. As ordained by Allah, blood relatives are more entitled ˹to inheritance˺ than ˹other˺ believers and immigrants, unless you ˹want to˺ show kindness to your ˹close˺ associates ˹through bequest˺.1 This is decreed in the Record.2
From that time, Zayd reverted to “ibn Harithah,” his biological father. At this point, he probably didn’t expect to inherit from Muhammad, as he would have done in much earlier years, but now he was specifically excluded.
And Surah 33 had more thoughts addressed to the Prophet’s growing tribe of wives:
O wives of the Prophet! If any of you were to commit a blatant misconduct, the punishment would be doubled for her. And that is easy for Allah.
And whoever of you devoutly obeys Allah and His Messenger and does good, We will grant her double the reward, and We have prepared for her an honourable provision.
O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women: if you are mindful ˹of Allah˺, then do not be overly effeminate in speech ˹with men˺ or those with sickness in their hearts may be tempted, but speak in a moderate tone.
Settle in your homes, and do not display yourselves as women did in the days of ˹pre-Islamic˺ ignorance. Establish prayer, pay alms-tax, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah only intends to keep ˹the causes of˺ evil away from you and purify you completely, O members of the ˹Prophet’s˺ family! (33:30-33)
Last, the Surah explicitly tells the believers that Muhammad’s marriage to Zaynab was entirely God’s will:
And ˹remember, O Prophet,˺ when you said to the one1 for whom Allah has done a favour and you ˹too˺ have done a favour,2 “Keep your wife and fear Allah,” while concealing within yourself what Allah was going to reveal. And ˹so˺ you were considering the people, whereas Allah was more worthy of your consideration. So when Zaid totally lost interest in ˹keeping˺ his wife, We gave her to you in marriage, so that there would be no blame on the believers for marrying the ex-wives of their adopted sons after their divorce. And Allah’s command is totally binding. (33:37)
The social revolution was ongoing: it aimed to take the old sunnah and replace it with a completely new one. The new Muslim sunnah would include remarriage of widows, typically as plural wives, and would cross both age gaps and some previously-important taboo relationships, such as adopted children. Adoption in the sunnah would mean raising a child with love, but not putting the child in line for inheritance.
Another point in the new sunnah arose from this same set of revelations:
O believers! Do not enter the homes of the Prophet without permission ˹and if invited˺ for a meal, do not ˹come too early and˺ linger until the meal is ready. But if you are invited, then enter ˹on time˺. Once you have eaten, then go on your way, and do not stay for casual talk. Such behaviour is truly annoying to the Prophet, yet he is too shy to ask you to leave. But Allah is never shy of the truth. And when you ˹believers˺ ask his wives for something, ask them from behind a barrier. This is purer for your hearts and theirs. And it is not right for you to annoy the Messenger of Allah, nor ever marry his wives after him. This would certainly be a major offence in the sight of Allah. (33:53)
There’s a lot to unpack in this one ayah. But notice the part in which believers must ask the wives from something only from behind a barrier. The verse is talking about coming into someone’s home, so its initial reference is to a curtain in the house, beyond which outsiders were not to pass, which gave the wives more privacy in a house that functioned as a seat of government. However, once the rule was given, it had to be followed out in the street, too. And so Muhammad’s wives began wearing the veil, the hijab (curtain).
When Muhammad had four wives, three of whom were clearly of child-bearing age, at least one of these (Umm Salamah) having proven her ability to bear, the community expected that babies would soon follow. Surely one of these women would bear a son, an “ibn Muhammad” by blood who would not die in infancy. But meanwhile, his daughters by Khadijah were producing some children. The oldest (another Zaynab) had a 3 year old daughter who came to Medina with her when Muhammad separated her from her husband. The child’s name was Umamah, and Muhammad was very fond of her. Once, teasing his wives, he said he would give a necklace to his best girl: and chose little Umamah, doubtless producing tense laughter among the adults.
Next in age to Umamah was Hassan, Fatimah’s son. He was about a year old when his younger brother, Huseyn, was born. Muhammad was very fond of Hassan and Huseyn. One hadith tells of how he let the boys ride on his back, pretending he was their horse. We know that in the distant future, these boys would be as important to Muslim history as their father, Ali. But for now, they were just cute. And everyone expected them to have some little uncles their own age any day, as Muhammad himself had grown up with his same-age uncle Hamzah.