Adult life as a knight divided into two typical stages. In the first, the young man was a member of another man’s household; later, he would have his own manor or castle to govern.
In the first stage, he had few possessions and generally slept in a dormitory, perhaps even in the Great Hall on its dining benches. In the early medieval period (cf. Beowulf), chests along the walls held pillows and blankets for turning the hall into a bedroom. His day job was to practice for war, including going with his lord out hunting; boar hunting was excellent war practice. At other times, he drilled in tournament skills. When his lord went to a tournament, he went along and participated.
He could not marry, having no home to settle a wife in, and he saw few women who weren’t married. It was quite acceptable for him to have a crush on the lady of the house, as long as whatever he did about it remained sentimental and/or private. He could have affairs with serving women.
Knights who were not attached to a lord’s household were knights errant, and they were very much at loose ends. It was strange and abnormal to be an actual knight, and yet not fitted into the feudal network; it was a sign that something had gone wrong. Some errant knights resorted to taking up a station at one end of a bridge and challenging other knights to fight them or pay. The rules of chivalry developed as a way to control the behavior of young men like this. Knights errant tried to catch a great lord’s attention in battle so that they could get into a stable household and begin their career climb.
In mid life, the knight hoped to be granted a manor to live in and govern. If he could, he inherited it from his own father. If not, it was given to him by the king when some vacancy came up. Perhaps the owner was an enemy whose land was captured, or perhaps a knight died without heirs and his land reverted back to the king. He might also gain the favor of a landowner whose daughter would bring an estate — a significant farm or house or castle — to her husband. Finding a landless knight was one way for a father to make sure his daughter would not be left friendless in a tough neighborhood.
The knight could then marry and join his peers in governing the land. In England, he would be generally known as a Baron ((n Germany Graf, in France Comte, etc.), unless his birth or appointment raised him to Marquis, Earl, Count or Duke. In the cycle of knighthood, a successful knight gained enough land that its rents supported him while he gathered his own household of knights and boys in training — and (always) raised horses.
When the knight grew old, he often became more religious. He began giving away some of what he had won as endowments to chapels and monasteries, to win prayers for his soul. He often went on a pilgrimage, even with a general plan to die on the journey, as it seemed holier that way. In some cases, if he were old, alone and sick, he might resign his posts and go into a monastery as to a nursing home.