Weddings in medieval Italy were a little bit different.
The betrothal was a much bigger deal in Italy than in Northern Europe. The bride’s family prepared a lavish feast at their home. The bride’s male relatives met the groom and his family at a notary’s office, and they signed the betrothal agreements (detailing dower and dowry). Then they went back to the bride’s home for the feast. Since medieval Italian girls were sheltered at home more than French or English girls, it may have been the first time the groom got to meet her.
Italian merchants and nobility tended to live in family compounds in the city. The extended family owned all of the buildings in a square of city blocks. Houses as high as four stories surrounded an inner courtyard, and many of the upper stories had balconies or walkways facing the courtyard. The compound generally had its own well and chapel. With servants to go to the market, ladies in the compound rarely had reason to leave it.
Italian brides were probably on average a bit younger than brides in the north, and this may be why Italian betrothals tended to be long. As long as a year might pass before they held a wedding ceremony. This ceremony was much more involved than the simple wedding of the north.
It began with Ring Day. The groom’s family arrived with a gold ring, and wedding guests gathered to witness the vows. As in other medieval weddings, the vows were made in a public place, usually outdoors. The church steps may have been the place of choice, or some other public square, or just outside the family’s house. Notaries could conduct the entire ceremony, asking the questions and hearing the vows. Priests could be involved, but they did not have to be. After the vows, the families had another lavish feast at the bride’s house. The families gave each other impressive gifts. The bride’s trousseau was sent to the groom’s house, but she didn’t go anywhere.
Even in middle-class Italian neighborhoods, the wedding feast became a really big deal. For families that did not have courtyards, the street outside the house would have to suffice. This outdoor space was turned into a royal hall for the occasion. By the end of the Middle Ages, Italian cities were trying to limit the conspicuous consumption with “sumptuary laws” that forbade people below a certain rank from using various fabrics or furs. But never mind that: if possible, the bride was dressed in pure gold.
Most families could never afford cloth of gold, so they borrowed or rented the dresses. They could also rent tapestries to hang over balconies, turning the street into a feast hall. They could rent sculptures, vases, paintings, and draperies. Hired musicians showed up, and lanterns kept the “hall” going well into the night. Guests ate, drank and danced.
The next day, the families sent gifts to each other, and maybe the groom’s side gave a feast. After at least one day of feasting, maybe more, the bride’s family set out at night, with torches, to her new home. She rode a white horse. In Rome, they always stopped at the church for Mass on the way. At last, with pomp and circumstance, the girl was married and moved. And then they had another feast, and maybe another.